That's the live
shot from Mercury, and that's
enough to make your sphincter
lock up in sheer terror.
Just moments ago, Titan Megamum,
piloted by notorious douchebag
Gibbs, entered that generator
with an atomic bomb.
A D-bag with an A-bomb.
Chip, what does that mean?
It means Mercury's in deep
S-word, Coop.
Those generators power the solar
shield, which keep the sun's
heat from exploding everyone's
skulls like a microwaved toad.
If just one of those beams
fails, Mercury burns
like my record collection
after my ex-wife caught me
with the Nanny.
So many souls would perish that
God himself would scream
in agony.
Looks accurate, Chip.
Robotics expert Bud Freewell
joins us now.
Why is Titan Maximum just
standing there with its thumb
up its butt?
That energy beam is just too
powerful for a dinosaur like
Titan Maximum,
as we've already seen.
So in your professional
opinion...
Titan Maximum has no choice
but to pack it in and go home.
I'd stake
my entire career on it.
Wil-lie!
Wil-lie! Wil-lie!
Don't fuck this up,
Willie!
Hey, don't forget Leon!
Mon-key! Mon-key!
Here... we... go!
Wil-lie sucks!
Guys...
It's working!
We have forward shields
at 500% for only 15 seconds!
You hear that, Gibbs?
15 seconds until-
more like 12 now.
Twelve seconds until we kick
500% of your ass!
Well, it was a good,
long career.
It took years to build...
and seconds to destroy.
Hey, hey, you're not really-
The heat...
It's-it's incredible!
Are you stripping?
Oh, it's on, bitch!
Put your top back on!
We're missing it!
What?
I wouldn't, Jojo.
Firing an energy weapon?
Down here?
I thought you went to college.
Maybe that was a different ex-
girlfriend I broadcast myself
having sex with.
So wait, I have to beat you
to death with my bare hands?
Bonus.
Now now now, don't be mad,
Pooky.
Can't you give me points for
creativity?
I knew you'd spot my ship
modifications and think I was
on Mercury.
I knew a little sex scandal
would get you kicked off
this puritanical planet.
And I knew they'd replace
Titan Maximum
with Titan Megamum...
The exact tool I needed
to plant my bomb!
Come on!
Give it up for ol' Gibbsy!
Ruining my life was worth it?
Oh, no.
Ruining your life was icing!
And you knew, you just knew
you'd seduce me, huh?
No, I was only 99% sure.
That's why I had a little
backup, hiding on my ship.
Me!
I watched you the whole time!
Oh my God.
She looks eight, but she's
really 21, so, it's cool.
It's still not cool!
Ooh, pretty.
My spine feels ouchy.
So that's why he needed
the insulated coil!
Oh no!
Leon, we've got to shut off
the bomb, or we're all dead!
And Mamo and Bampo,
and a billion grandparents!
And any chance I have
at touching Sasha's left
or preferably right boob!
Come on!
Dammit!
Pow!
You're dumb!
I like cute things,
and you're not cute.
I hate cute!
Well, I think
I proved my point.
Time for a graceful exit.
Ooh!
Guess I just gave your balls
the finger.
A nutshot and a quip.
What a perfect way
to summarize your entire
career, Palmer.
Yep, you could say that's
me... in a nutshell!
It's impossible to hate you
more.
Oowwww!
Oh Leon, how're we gonna diffuse
the bomb if we can't even
touch it?
I can't believe we used
to be buds!
We were never "buds,"
you egomaniacal dolt!
But you were a true friend!
We're caught
in a tractor beam!
It's locked onto me!
Countermeasures aren't
working!
We'll have to reverse course
and attack the ship.
There's no time.
If we wait even a moment
longer...
I'm going to be late for
a smoking hot date.
Oh, you mother...
It took me two months
to get home!
I had to make a mock pistol out
of instant potatoes and shoe
polish, take hostages,
and simultaneously ward off
the advances of the Captain's
sizeable daughter and hitchhike
the entire 800 million miles
home on a garbage scow!
That infernal woman still
writes me letters filled
with misspelled erotica!
And I finally got back to
base on my birthday... which
you'd completely forgotten!
Whoa, I said we were buddies,
I never said we were married.
Hee hee!
Your gun broke...
But my sword still works!
Maybe you'd be cuter
if you were shorter!
Mnh-mnh.
Sowwy.
Yah!
Aw, crackers.
Aw crackers!
Here's what I think of your
face!
Awh, fuck you, you, imprint!
Now you're gonna get even
less cute!
If that's even possible!
What the...
Owwww!
Um, thanks everyone for
pulling me out
of the burning wreckage!
Leggo my haaaaaiirrr!
Oh, Clareykins,
why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?!?
I'm nooooottt!
Wow. Holy crap.
Gotcha!
Why are you hitting yourself?
Wait a minute!
Leon, we've got to get
that sword!
You like to be hit, huh?
You'll kill us both,
you asshead!
Or you could just die enough
for the two of us!
[Distorted screaming,
blows landing]
Get out of the way!
Damn it, Leon!
Go play with the monkey!
Leon is the monkey.
Even I know that!
M-m-made it.
Aw, man!
Ow!
We've got to work together!
Wrong, stupid!
We need to cheat!
Just listen for once!
Two against one,
but I'm still the bestest!
Zoink!
That's cheating!
You're not supposed to-
Owww!
Sasha! That's it!
We need to cheat...
And work together!
Hey! You're not supposed
to fight dirty!
I'm too cute!
Tell them in hell.
Wow!
This sword is made of
aggregated diamond nanorods!
Hyperdiamonds!
The hardest substance there is!
Ha ha!
Problem solved!
Ooowwww!
It's like... I know
every combo in the game...
and he just keeps hitting
the "A" button!
Facepunch!
Come on, Jodi.
You know you want to.
Not you, Jojo, you were
raised better than this.
That's what makes it fun.
Aaaagh!
I think one of them
went up into my pelvis...
Mamo... Bampo...
I love you!
Huh?
Double-oh six?
Awww, that was almost
a lot cooler.
Oh my gosh!
I did it!
Everyone!
I did it!
We're saved!
Barn door, Willie.
Aw, crap.
We beat you, Gibbs.
No duh.
And the most important
thing is, we did it together.
And even more importantly
than that, we did it together
with me telling everyone
what to do.
The team is always stronger
than the individual.
That was your fatal flaw.
We replaced you with
a friggin' monkey and still
beat your sorry ass.
We replaced Spud with
the monkey.
We replaced Gibbs with the nerd.
Yeah!
That's how lame you are,
you got replaced by me!
Hey, where did Gibbs go?
So long, buttholes!
Enjoy your teammate friendship
asslicking kumbaya bullshit
while I just go ahead and win!
In retrospect, we dropped
the ball on that one.
Willie!
Is there anything you can do?
Okay. Time to improvise.
Cool!
Just like "speed racer"!
Flight capabilities are shot.
Something's jabbing me
in the butt!
Get your boobs
out of my face, Grody!
Computer,
snap a photo of that action.
Are you fucking crazy?!?
Hang on!
Um, what's happening?
C-computer?
Snap a photo...
of this action...
That ain't good.
Forecast seems a little off
today.
Look what you did, Jodi.